So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
