Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
That was before I lit my hair on fire
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
