So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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