i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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