i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
