Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Ketchup is God's man juice
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
