going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
