Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

Did I miss anything?

(1-914): View more from New York

A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.

(914): View more from New York

so we also did drugs

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(520): View more from Arizona

I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.

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(845): View more from New York

If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?

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(843): View more from South Carolina

she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".

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(301): View more from Maryland

he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.

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(650): View more from California

i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.

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(619): View more from California

I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.

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(903): View more from Texas

You're a waste of cheezeits

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(503): View more from Oregon

Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey

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