mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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