I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
