if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
why do cheetos always look like penises
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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