So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
