Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
he was CRYING into my vagina
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize