so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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