yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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