i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
So squirting runs in the family.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
