I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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