He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
