I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
