It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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