He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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