I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
