...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize