if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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