so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Barsexuality is the new black.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize