Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
