Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
