she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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