belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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