Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
