How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
