...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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