Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
