Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
