so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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