I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
