Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
