bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
