I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
