He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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