Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
