It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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