Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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