Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
