Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
