VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
