I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
