Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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