what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
