So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
