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• (205): View more from Alabama

  woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???

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• (903): View more from Texas

  she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!

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