I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
