youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
