Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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