His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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