Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
