So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
